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Writer's pictureAlyssa Bette

My Coming Out Story

Updated: Nov 1, 2022

I am bisexual. A statement I’ve been openly saying for the past 8 years since I came out.


The ones who are very close to me already know this. However, I’ve never put it on the internet before and well I put most everything else on the internet, so I figured I would share this part of myself with all of you as well. In celebration of pride I wanted to write a blog sharing my experience of discovering I was bisexual while being raised in a religious home.


First of all I’m gonna dive right into it and say that being gay, bisexual or however you identify is absolutely in no way a choice. The way the LGBTQ+ community is still treated in this day and age do you really believe a large mass of people would openly choose to be ridiculed, murdered or have their rights stripped from them? No. Now that I’ve said my piece on that, allow me to dive into sharing my own story.


For as long as I can remember I have been attracted to both men & women. I remember being curious about gay people at a young age and being shut down for asking about them. I was told they were sinners. They chose to be gay. It was not the way god intended love or marriage to be. In turn I stopped bringing up this topic around the religious people in my life.


However, I continued to explore and research on my own time. I was fascinated by this topic that was so untouchable and rejected by such a mass amount of people. I started making friends who were gay. I asked them every question I had ever wanted to ask. Bless their hearts for being so open to sharing their own journey with a confused 13 year old.


Fast forward I grew up knowing what I knew and I came out about 8 years ago. It felt freeing. By that age I grew a bit hardened in the fact that I didn’t care what people thought of me. I was proud as fuck. For the first year I think I told everyone I met. Now I don’t share it as much unless it comes up. Not because I’m ashamed but because I don’t feel the need to explain or justify why I love who I love.


Navigating this wasn’t always easy. At the very beginning I struggled being in a relationship with one gender because I would miss the other. It felt like I had to give up a part of myself to settle down and I didn’t like that. I think a part of me felt like I wasn’t a real bisexual if I dated only one gender and built a life with them. However, after years of experience and trial and error I learned to love who I was fully. I then labeled myself someone who loves peoples souls vs gender. When letting go of that need to split myself down the middle with gender I learned a new level of peace. I no longer felt like I was missing out when I was with a partner of one gender. I learned to accept and appreciate the love I had in that moment with the person despite which gender they were.


I wanted to share this with you guys because I think it’s important to be transparent about our struggles in life, our differences and help shed light on topics that need more discussion. I think a lot of people assume that since having pride parades the LGBTQ+ community is now openly accepted and loved for who they are. Which is not the case. In my opinion, I believe we still have along ways to go.


There is still a lot of hate directed towards the LGBTQ+ community. It is still illegal for same sex marriage in many countries. It is even illegal to be gay in some countries & cultures. Some schools will not allow information and books about transgender individuals. A mass amount of religions do not accept and support LGBTQ+. Individuals still feel they cannot come out of the closet and some families are still very unaccepting of their LGBTQ+ children.


All of this breaks my heart. We still have along ways to go in correcting the misinformation circulating the LGTBTQ+ community as well as the hate and judgment. I’ve created a list of some ways we can support the LGBTQ+ community.


1. Research information on these topics and educate yourself to the best of your ability

2. Donate to organizations tnat help support the LGBTQ+

3. If someone says a homophobic statement, correct them.

4. Share educational posts on social media to help inform others.

5. Celebrate and partake in pride events.

6. Ask your LGBTQ+ friends / relatives how you can best support them.

7. Put your pronouns in your bio. The pronoun feature isn’t just for LGBTQ+. It is a way to show that we are accepting of anyone who identifies with specific pronouns.


Thank you guys so much for reading. I hoped this helped in more ways than one. Please please please share. This is so important for people to read and learn about. Happy PRIDE!!!


Much love,


Xx

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